Ashes
The piece of broken pottery brought more relief.
I’m writing today’s newsletter in honour of my Aburo(inside joke), my Grandma, who passed away 10 years ago, on the 8th of May, the day I was introduced to grief that rocked my world. She’s with Jesus now, so I remember our memories fondly. I hope you enjoy today’s newsletter 💕.
I sat down among the ashes, taking note of the new boils that had sprung up on my body. This strange misfortune was getting even worse. I was extra grateful for the piece of pottery I had found and was using to scratch the itches. Earlier that day, my wife and I had had an argument about my current state. I mean, I couldn’t blame her for thinking that cursing God was the only option left. Death seemed more pleasant than my current state to be honest. But, I can’t do that to my God. He has done so many good things for me, giving me a really good life, and now when things are going south, should I not accept them as I had the good things?
The sound of wailing and robes tearing jolted me up from my deep thinking. I saw my friends approaching me from a distance. I was so grateful to have them with me in my troubles. Words cannot describe the relief I felt, just seeing them. My wife’s pessimistic stance about things didn’t make her good company, but at least my friends would understand. They sat down and said nothing, joining me in my misery, which is exactly what I needed.
After 7 days of this horrible calamity, I couldn’t keep it in anymore. It would have been better if I wasn’t even born! And so, I started cursing the day I was born. If this was supposed to be how my life ended, why then was I even allowed to live this long? I don’t blame the Lord, don’t get me wrong. I just wish I didn’t have to go through this, and not being born would’ve helped a great deal. I said my piece and went back to silently looking towards heaven.
I was barely two minutes in when Eliphaz shouted at me to keep quiet! I looked up, stunned. He went on and on, and a few words into his speech, he confirmed my fears: Eliphaz didn’t think I was innocent! I was stunned. I thought for sure that if anyone knew I was innocent, it was my friends. Looking into the eyes of the others, I could tell that they agreed with Eliphaz. I had thought they had come to sympathise with me and share in my misery, but all they had come to do was point accusing fingers at me! This felt worse than the pain of the boils on my skin. I felt so defeated.
In response, I said, “One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty. You, too, have given no help. You have seen my calamity, and you are afraid. But why? Have I ever asked you for a gift? Have I begged for anything of yours for myself? Honest words can be painful, but what do your criticisms amount to? Do you think your words are convincing when you disregard my cry of desperation? Look at me! Would I lie to your face? Stop assuming my guilt, for I have done no wrong. Do you think I am lying? Don’t I know the difference between right and wrong?”
Job 6:14, 21-22, 25-26, 28-30 NLT
I’ve had the opportunity to meet a lot of people and make friends with other people of God, but I’ve been feeling the urge to talk about how dismissive a lot of us get of our feelings and the feelings of others. In aiming for the supernatural, we have forgotten how to flourish in the natural state we’ve been given.
I was having a conversation with my friend, about how a lot of us mask everything we’re going through with the famous words, “It is well.” It’s almost as though we’ve been conditioned to say it. But I also don’t blame us, because some of the times I’ve felt comfortable enough to share how I felt or what I was going through, I was either accused of challenging God’s authority, or met with a half hearted “God will work it out.”
The second is true, but a lot of people seem to lack the emotional intelligence to know how to deal with people’s pain and feelings. You don’t preach those away. They’re valid. And for the love of all things good, whenever someone shares how they feel the need to question God whenever they go through a traumatic experience, it is never your place to tell them not to! God knows what we’re going through. He’s the Man of Sorrows after all. Which of these feelings has Jesus not gone through? Sadness, loss, grief, uncertainty, He went through it all, and He came out victorious. I don’t know about you, but that tells me that He’s the best Person to ask all my questions.
Of course I’m not asking you to question God’s sovereignty, but you get to know God and His ways more when you sit with your feelings and ask Him questions. He might answer, or He might not, but one thing He will always do is give you comfort. And if you’re one of those people who villainize others for having certain feelings you think are not acceptable, maybe this is what you needed to hear. Don’t be an Eliphaz.
The Bible is clear about how we should deal with those going through tough times, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”
Romans 12:15 NLT
Let’s learn to be better friends, and stop trying to seem deeper or super spiritual when all people need is a friend to hold them and lead them to the Father with their feelings. Remember Jesus had feelings too. He wept when Lazarus died, even when He knew what was going to happen next. He did it because the people around were weeping too. Let’s try to be compassionate.
God bless you my loves❤️. Today’s story is the story of Job and his friends, found in the book of Job.